Things I've learned living/teaching in Busan, South Korea

In just a few weeks, I will have been in Korea for three years. I am leaving soon and along with looking at a consolidation of my finances, gathering together (and reducing) my wardrobe, and getting ready for my next tip-toe-print in the world, I want to analyze what I've learned--either directly or indirectly--from my time in Busan.

So, here (in no particular order) is what I've learned in Korea:

Pink is not just for girls and gay men.

Ajumas (old women) can and will be your greatest ally or worst enemy. Approach with caution or avoid eye contact.

Baseball is just better when you can bring in your own alcohol and wear an orange trash bag on your head.

The mechanical pencil was the worst idea ever and obviously not invented by an elementary school teacher.

You can put kimchi on everything.

There is a time when all of Dad's dumb jokes come in handy.

There are things you SHOULD NOT put kimchi on.

The most versatile game ever invented is 'rock, paper, scissors'.

Americans should savor every moment they have with good cheese.

Fashion is whatever you want it to be if you already look different than everyone around you.

Most English vocabulary can be explained using hand motions and/or a reference to Harry Potter.

Americans are not the only ones who think repeating something in a louder voice is going to magically make you understand what they're saying.

Adding ice to coffee somehow makes it more expensive.

Karaoke and soju make us all equals.

Construction can be done overnight if you only hire men over 50.

Not all well-being food is actually good for you.

You do not need to use correct English grammar when making a t-shirt, advertisement, or government document.

'Nightclub' and 'Department Store' are universal words while 'hospital' is not.

Kids, en masse, can learn American History and remember it, just not necessarily American kids.

It must really suck sometimes to be a Russian woman.

There is no limit to the number of pictures a Korean girl can take of herself. No limit.

I have a big head and big feet but it's OK because I'm tall, white, and have big eyes.

Shrimp have heads.

Getting a Queen and three in Texas hold'em is called a 'gay waiter'.

A Korean child is more helpful than any trained cell phone technician.

The word 'dong' is universally funny.

Korean men will eat just about anything if you tell them it will help their stamina.

I am not smarter than a fifth grader.

The ridiculous idea of consuming American beef is more important that the goings on of North Korea's nuclear arms program.

There is something inside that dies between elementary school and middle school, unless you start talking about boy bands.

The capital of Canada is Ottawa.

Even after three years, watching people spit is still really gross.

Westerners may go to great lengths to get a tan, but Koreans will go even farther to be white.

Kids can share with one another, every day, with every kid in class.

There's a whole country where Starbucks, Costco, and Outback Steakhouse are the classiest places in town.

K-pop survives on choreographed dances and guys that look like girls.

Everyone should use scissors to cut their meat, it's just simpler.

Giving children perms is wrong and just the most adorable thing ever.

Beds are an unnecessary luxury.

If an ajuma thinks you're pregnant on the subway, just go with it. It's the only way to get a seat sometimes.

Always carry tissues or 200 won.

Kids have the most finely tuned sense of what is fair.


While I'm sure there are many more things I have learned, I have to get up in the morning and learn some more for 13 hours. Peace go (or stay) with you. Annyeong!